Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
