my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
