Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think i have two assholes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
