The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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