Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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