tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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