So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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