Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
