It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
