PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
