I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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