I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
