well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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