This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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