Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
