nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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