a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
