"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
