Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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