booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
