Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
