apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
