porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
