Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
