Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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