I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
