i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I could fuck to npr.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When are your genitals available?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
