Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
