does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
