There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
