He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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