he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
