I want to stick my p in your. b.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
