and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
