im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
