I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
