Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
