Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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