Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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