So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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