what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
