i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
