plz talk dirty to me
I think my vagina is haunted
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
