the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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