Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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