How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
