Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just high enough for therapy.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
