Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
