her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
only you would photoshop your dick
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
