You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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