I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Can Purell be used as lube?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
