fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
A+ Viking dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
