I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
