i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
