I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
where are you?
Hypothermia
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
