"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
