I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
they're like a gay fantastic four
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm too high and old for this...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
